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What Parents Need to Know about Kids and Pornography
All you parents should assume that, at some point, your child will come across something inappropriate online, such as porn or violence, and that can be upsetting or scary. Younger children are more likely to have this happen by accident. Older children may be curious. Just like the Playboy Magazines hidden under the beds of teens in prehistoric times, tweens and teens will have heard about all the “horrors” of the Internet and may want to see what all the excitement is about. Don’t wait for something to happen to give a child some tools for dealing with it.
Research shows that parents wildly over-estimate that their kids will share troubling incidents — but especially porn. They may feel ashamed, guilty, or be just plain embarrassed to bring it up — even if they would like to talk about it to get some comfort.
Kids need skills ahead of time. You need to talk about it first. But you need to make it safe. This is when the “my friend has a problem” strategy works well. Talk about it as if it is happening to someone else allows people to problem-solve without feeling anxious or at risk of disapproval. Using a fictitious friend can help you address difficult topics more rationally.
